Pastor James' Word
Welcome to my happy thoughtful spot! Here you can get a good solid word that will encourage you and lift you up! Here are some great devotionals that will help you live life!
Monday, August 7, 2017
Check out our webcast devotional, "With Coffee Too!"
Saturday, January 28, 2017
With Coffee Too: 1/25/17 (002) Vision For Your Future Tomorrows
In this episode of With Coffee Too, Pastor James shares how you can see your future tomorrows in this New Year. You'll learn how the setting of goals is the key to those tomorrows! With Coffee Too is a weekly Christian video devotional that will empower you to live a life of victory!
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Count Your Blessings!
I just wanted to post something for Christmas. This is one of my favorite Irving Berlin songs, Count Your Blessings. My all time favorite Christmas movie is "White Christmas". So Merry Christmas and may you be blessed!
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
The Most Important Place To Be
Jumbo jets crashing.
Nations coming against nations. Invasions! Wars and rumors of wars. The Middle
East. On a more personal level, people who are living for themselves instead of
God, and people basing their lives by their emotions and falling away from the
truth. What do we do in the days in which we living? Where is THE most
important place to be in the days that are before us? It’s simple and the Bible
tells us clearly. Be in church! Be a part of church! Love church! It is your
true life-support line in these days!
Our key verse in the
New Testament is Hebrews 10:24-25.
"And let us
consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the
assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one
another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching." (NKJV)
Notice how The Message
Bible reads. "So let's do it--full of belief, confident that we're presentable
inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He
always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love
and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each
other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching." (The Message
Translation)
The Word of God said to
not forsake our coming together. It says not to avoid worshiping together
because it spurs each other onward. We live in a society today that chooses to
magnify hurts, depression, emotional issues, and problems in general. We live
in a victim society; an issue-driven society. Sadly, that attitude has crept
into the church. The Bible tells us that some will "fall away" in the
last days. When we submit to the "world system", or the way the world
is thinking, we will pull away from the things that have remained stable and
sure for generations. The local church is one of those sure things.
The world now mocks the
church. We must be careful not to allow this world system to drive our
attendance habits through the cares and things of life and everyday living.
This way of thinking is completely apart from what the scriptures tell us about
coming together. We need to come together on a regular basis as believers. We
need to hear the preaching and teaching of the Word of God to encourage us and
help us in living a life of hope and victory. The preaching and teaching of the
Word of God helps us to have a stable focus. It helps us, as believers, to be
accountable as well.
The local church is a
life source for all of us. We individually need it. We see it in the book of
Acts. The church was the place where "it" was happening. It was
exploding with growth, excitement and the power of the Holy Spirit. The church
of today should exemplify that same excitement and growth. Excitement breeds
excitement. How you come to church affects the service. When you come to
church, come excited and ready, and just see what happens and what the Lord
will do.
Look at some other
verses here.
Psalm 122:1 "I was glad when they said to me, "Let us go into the house
of the LORD." (NKJV)
Psalm 42:4 "When I remember these things, I pour out my soul within me. For I
used to go with the multitude; I went with them to the house of God With the
voice of joy and praise, With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast."
(NKJV)
Notice being glad to go.
Going with the multitude.
If you just do a word
search of the Bible with the words "temple" and "Jesus"
you'll find that Jesus was there, in church, over and over and over. It was a
part of His life, not just His ministry. One that I love is this: Luke 4:16, "He went to Nazareth, where
he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as
was his custom. And he stood up to read."
The Apostle Paul had
"customs" or "habits" too! Notice Acts 17:2, "As his custom was, Paul went into the
synagogue, and on three Sabbath days he reasoned with them from the
Scriptures."
Acts 5:42 says, "And daily in the temple, and in every
house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ."
There are many, many
references to coming together throughout the Word of God. Being in the
sanctuary, the temple, the church, needs to be a part of our lives for so many
reasons. Let me give you some straight points as to why it's important to you
as an individual.
1. Important for family relationships and life.
The Local Church is a
very important place for family and relationships. Strong, godly relationships
"spark" you. "Iron sharpens iron." (Proverbs 27:17)
Families and individuals learn about life and how to live it. We learn about
walking in victory and being happy. We learn about giving to our fellow man
through outreach and community projects. We learn as a family the power of
walking with Christ living big in our lives.
2. It's a community of faith.
In this community of
faith is where we gain a revelation of Jesus Christ. Church is about growing up
and maturing, not about what level you're on. It's where you have a Pastor who
ministers the Word of God to you so that you can run and step out in faith and
be a doer of the Word. Your Pastor and the other relationships that you have
are there for you in a tough time or to celebrate the joys of your life. It's a
place where we develop personal and lasting friendships and relationships that
endure a lifetime.
3. It's a non-threatening place.
There are no perfect
people, but we are a people who have a perfect God. In this place you don't
have to put on a performance. Jesus loves and accepts people the way they are.
Church is that kind of place. It's a place where people find empathy, not
sympathy; a place to be lifted up and encouraged to live for Christ.
4. It helps people face difficult & conflicting areas of
their lives.
While dealing with
struggles, sins of the past, lack of self-confidence, and more, we learn that
the precious blood of the Lamb has been given for our freedom. It's a place
where there is comfort in a time of loss or need; a place where Jesus' arms are
spread wide through the love of a congregation of family and friends.
5. A place of spiritual strength.
Church is a place where
people can find out who they are in Christ and grow in the things of God. It is
a place where your giftings from the Lord can be developed and shine. It is a
place where you are encouraged and uplifted to step out and serve the Lord. It
is a place where you can be sent out to do the calling of God that's on your
life.
6. A place of accountability.
At church we learn
about life and that we are accountable to the Lord. We establish relationships
where we are accountable to one another. Church helps in establishing
accountability in our personal walk of life and to the Word of God, by
fostering healing, evangelism, deeper faith, family roots and more. Plain and
simple, it helps keep you from becoming "flaky"! When you are off on
your own, your imagination about what's spiritual and what's not, can go to all
sorts of places that can mislead you at a time and place in your life where you
need "your" pastor and "your" church family for life,
encouragement, and rock solid consistency.
7. A place for marriage, family, & home.
You can be on your way
to church and arguing about what seems huge, but when you get to church and are
in the middle of worship, the Holy Spirit deals with you. The message seems to
be just like the Lord was personally talking with you. It changes you and
changes your home. It brings the two of you closer as a husband and wife.
It works on your kids.
They're learning how to live for God and not just play like it. They learn that
a relationship with God is a personal experience and that it's real.
The Bible says to, "Train
up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from
it." Proverbs 22:6
As a parent, your
responsibility is to plant those seeds of training in your kids. If church
isn't important to you, don't expect it to be important to your kids. If
praying is not important to you, don't expect it to be important to your kids.
If giving is not important to you, don't expect them to be givers either. You
train them up... they will follow. Your emphasis will be the foundations for
not just you, but for generations to come. Fear breeds fear. Joy breeds joy.
Godliness breeds godliness.
Dads need to set that
example. Moms too! What you tolerate in moderation, your kids will tolerate in
excess. The seeds that are sown will produce when they are older. Psalm 78
tells us that these things also pass down to their kids, your grandkids.
Generation to generation! Think and do what's important to you, and your kids
will do it too, good or bad. Galatians 6:6 says that you reap what you
sow.
Dads, how you treat Mom
is contagious. Moms, how you treat Dad is contagious. How you both treat
spiritual things is contagious too. Being in the local church helps all of the
family to grow and mature and send a message to the next generation. As
parents, we are sending a message through our children into a time we will not see.
The local church is so
very important to all of us. Being around those of like faith can spark us to
greater things in God. Sharing a meal together, fellowshipping, laughing and
enjoying the Word of God together is so very vital and important in the days in
which we live. All of us need to plug in, be active, and be excited. We need to
live this life of Christianity and bring others to church! Bring our families
to church! In the days that we live in right now, it’s not just vital, but
critical! Church is what we each make it to be individually. Plug in as they
did in the book of Acts and let excitement breed excitement. Today is here and
now, but the seeds of today will produce tomorrow! Let’s get ourselves at the
most important place to be in the days in which we live! Let’s go to church!
We'll see you there! Amen!
Prayer:
Father, I know that your Word says that a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Being together with a local body of believers, fellowshipping around your Word,
building relationships is a source of strength and a faith builder for my life.
I choose to make time to be hooked up with my local church family. Amen.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
My Thoughts On Turning Fifty
January
1st, 2015, marked the beginning of the year that I turn fifty years
old. Many tend to look at that
number with apprehension and concern.
Some call it middle aged, which is actually unscriptural. We’re promised 120 years according to
Genesis 6:3, the 70 to 80 is a curse that only applied to the generation of
Korah who followed the golden calf crowd, so technically speaking, I still have
ten more years to go until I am the middle age of 60. And so it is true for
everyone. What are you believing
for? I want to live a long life,
following the Lord, fulfilling His purpose, till I see Him face to face! He’s promised us longevity of life. It belongs to every one of us too!
Choose to live and live big for Him.
As
I am thinking about turning 50, to be honest, I am excited about it. After my
birthday, I am looking forward to the next fifty years. There is still so much to do and so
many dreams to achieve. In fact we
should never stop dreaming about what’s next. Press toward the prize!
As
this year started though, I must admit that there were a few “hiccups” that I
have had to deal with. These
hiccups made me think I needed some more duct tape for my body and some WD-40
to grease my joints! What happened
you ask? Hiccups like a trip to
the ER with chest pains and I got a hearing aid for my left ear! Through it all, God is good and the ER
trip turned out to be nothing! In fact, there were no heart problems at all,
but what a night! Honestly,
the hearing aid has changed sound to me so much that it brings tears to my eyes
just to describe how much I can really hear now.
This
June marked the month that I moved from the age of 49 to 50. This birthday is
no different than any other one.
It is what it is… another birthday. But… and there is a but here, the thoughts of this change of
age has caused me to look back over these past fifty years in retrospect and
consider where I have been and everything that has happened in my life. These things, good and bad, have shaped
me into the man that I am and brought me into the season that I am in right
now.
There
is so much to be thankful for.
Since graduation from high school and then Bible College, I have had the
privilege to travel around the world many times, minister in many states and
nations, speak and minister to thousands upon thousands of teenagers and
adults. I have worked for and served many famous people, and I have had the privilege
to meet and even become close friends with many famous and well-known
people. I have stood in many
pulpits and preached, I led worship for thousands, I have recorded many albums,
and I have received many awards, royalties, and endorsements, and much, much
more.
But
in looking over the past 50 years, what matters the most, are the relationships
that are so sweet and dear. And
even much more than all of that, the literal thousands that have come to the
knowledge of Christ Jesus being their Lord and Savior, the thousands filled
with the Holy Spirit, and many others receiving a touch from the Lord for
healing or breakthroughs in their lives. Now, we are pastoring the sweetest
congregation I know. I don’t think
I really understood fulfillment until we started being the lead pastors of the
church we started. People are so
special and they are the reason why I keep doing what I do. Ministry is all about people. It's about serving people and helping
people. It’s not a business. The day that the ministry becomes a
business, rest assured, it is no longer the ministry.
To
say God has been good is an understatement right now. He has been very good to
me and my wife and boys. We are overwhelmed by His goodness that He has shown
in our lives many times over. Oh
sure, there have been down moments over the past 50 years, from being told I
had a lung disease that I was healed of, to driving my car under a semi-truck (in
and out the other side and walking away from it) and other moments too. But I want you to know without a
doubt, I have always made the choice to be OVER IT and NOT under it.
NEVER give up your joy and peace over a
circumstance or a feeling. It's only temporary. “Rejoice, and again I say
rejoice” is what we are told in Philippians 4. It’s all up to you to stir it
up! You can be over it or under it!
There’s a great quote that says this, "By perseverance the snail reached the ark." We need to
be like that snail in everything! Persistence is a habit and so is quitting! Never quit. I know I have never quit.
As
I sit here now and write these words, being thankful for my family and blessings
that we have, it just overwhelms me.
Again, God is good! So
good! All the time, He is
good! And you know what? All of you who are reading this have so
much to be thankful for too! And
all of you, as do I, have so much that is ahead for you! There are things to be done! Greatness is upon your lives, run your
race and never stop, until you see the Lord face to face. In Jeremiah
29:11 (HCSB), the Lord Himself tells us all, “For I know the
plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare,
not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
As
I turn 50 there are some things that I have written that mean a lot to me that
I want to share with you right now. It’s entitled The
3 Things I Have Learned In Life So Far. No matter what your age,
these things, I believe, ring true.
A good friend and
mentor in my life used to make this statement when he would minister, “It’s what you learn after you know it all
that counts.” That is so very true. In life, you should always be
learning and always be growing. After all, if growth stops you will find
that decay will set in to your life. It’s vital in our walk with the Lord
that we are growing! Jesus told us to
seek the Kingdom.
Matthew 6:33 (New
Living Translation) “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and
live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
The Amplified
Bible reads, “But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom
and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these
things taken together will be given you besides.”
We should desire
strength in our lives. The Lord is our strength in all things. We
always grow stronger as we are seeking after the Lord. Even in our
struggles, in the hard and dark places, we always will find peace, joy, and
victory as we seek Him.
Isaiah 26:9
”With
my soul I have desired You in the night, Yes, by my spirit within me I will
seek You early; For when Your judgments are in the earth, The inhabitants of
the world will learn righteousness.”
We need to
remember what Proverbs 10:24 says, in the Amplified Bible (AMP) "The
thing a wicked man fears shall come upon him, but the desire of the
[uncompromisingly] righteous shall be granted."
What you dwell on
can be a powerful force in your life; in your thoughts and in the words you
speak. It can drive your emotions and push your flesh to react in bad and
totally wrong ways.
The other day the
Lord reminded me of an episode of The Andy Griffith Show. When ole Barney
would get all worked up and flustered with Andy, he would say things like,
"Nip it! Nip it in the bud!" Or, "Tick a lock, Ange!
Tick! Tick a lock!" Our attitude always will determine
our altitude, spiritually and naturally.
James 1:4 says,
"But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect
and complete, lacking nothing."
Sometimes our
flesh can be uncomfortable, but you’d better "Nip it!" and you’d
better, "Tick a lock!" Don't you allow the work of patience
that is being worked in you, to be undone by circumstances and outside
influences. The enemy wants you to complain and say the wrong things.
But YOU need to
speak the Word to the mountain. YOU need to speak the Word to the
circumstance. And in PRAYER, speak the Word regarding anything and everything
and not what you think is happening. Let the Lord do the work. You
relax in Him! Flesh is deceiving. The Lord wants you perfect and
complete, lacking nothing. There are things going on that you cannot
see. Don't tear it down. You can't get across the river by kicking
the rocks that you are suppose to use to get to the other side.
One of our
missionaries wrote, “Remember, if the
going is real easy, we need to beware that we may be headed down hill. There's
always free cheese in the mouse traps, but the mice ain't happy there.”
There are times in
which I find myself “between a rock and hard place.” When I do, I remind
myself of three simple things that really reset my compass. Make a note
of them and allow them to speak to you and reset your compass. I call
these points:
The Three Things I
Have Learned In Life So Far
1. This is the day the Lord has made – make the most of it.
The Bible says, in
Psalm 118:24
”This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice
and be glad in it.”
It’s HIS
DAY! He told you to rejoice and be glad! He didn’t say to be a
whiner or a complainer. He said it’s HIS DAY, you rejoice and be
glad!
In Psalm
34:8
it says, “Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the
joys of those who take refuge in him!”
It’s important you're giving your best attitude, integrity and loyalty where
you serve, where you work and in your relationships right now! Know that you're not healthy enough to
quit and take another job if you are not.
You’ll always be
better off being faithful and having the best attitude. You’ll always be better off reminding
yourself of His goodness and His promises rather than your trouble.
2. God is smarter than I am.
Stop and think
here. There are over 7 billion people on the earth and only one with my
fingerprint. God made you special and unique. Get it in your
head that He’s watching over you. Jesus said in Luke 12:7, “And the
very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more
valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”
He’s got it
together. His blood was shed. You are the redeemed. He has
whatever you think is so huge and overwhelming, under control.
Jesus told us in
Matthew 6:25-31, “25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about
everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to
wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look
at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your
heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they
are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and
how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in
all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God
cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the
fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What
will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts
of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.
33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he
will give you everything you need. “
Enough said!
And lastly,
3. Jesus has
whooped the devil.
The real fight is
in your mind and heart. It’s the flesh versus the spirit. Colossians 2:15
says that Jesus, “…spoiled principalities and powers, he made a shew of
them openly, triumphing over them in it.
Ephesians 1:19-23
tells us about Jesus, “19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His
power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power
20 which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated
Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all
principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named,
not only in this age but also in that which is to come. 22 And He put all
things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church,
23 which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.”
Jesus whooped the
devil. Whooped him! Won the victory! He put the enemy under
His feet and Jesus gave that victory to you! He made you MORE than a
conqueror. He could have just made you a conqueror. That’s pretty
good! But the Bible says in Romans 8:37 that He made you MORE
THAN a conqueror!
Always remember
that you have the will of God before you all the time. His Word is His
will. Believe it and speak it. When things come in on your thought
life, remember to do what 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “Casting down
imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge
of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” Amen!
Don’t be a
quitter! Run your race! I will! Let’s be just like Paul when his days were drawing to a
close, he spoke to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:7-8 (Modern
English Version) (MEV) “I have fought a good fight, I have
finished my course, and I have kept the faith. From now on a crown of
righteousness is laid up for me, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give
me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved His
appearing.”
Let us all run our race and reach
for that prize, that high calling in Christ Jesus our Lord. Let’s fight to the finish! So in that day in which we will stand
before Him, we will hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful one.” Amen.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
What does that mean, "Render due benevolence?"
Through
the years I have sat with many couples and talked with them before they got
married, while they were married and in the midst of their married
problems. There are a couple of
things that I tell couples often. A
few months ago my doctor and I were talking about situations he has with
patients and their marriages and my situations in counseling marriages. It was amazing how simple his answers
were and how they lined up with scriptures. In this devotional I am going to be as “straight forward” as
possible, gleaning from our conversations that day. So, with open eyes and an open heart, consider seriously
what I am sharing. It could very
well save your marriage from destruction.
Let’s start with a Bible verse. In 1
Corinthians 7, verses 1-5 we read this. “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let
every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render
unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the
husband. The wife has not power of her own body, but the husband: and
likewise also the husband has not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time,
that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again,
that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."
The term
“due benevolence” is a two way
street that is ignored in our culture today. Our excuse usually is that we are too tired or too
busy. Most women take offense to
this as well as some men. It’s
ignored because we live in a society where it has to be “all about me.” That selfish reality is destroying
marriages, causing them to be susceptible to emotional affairs and physical
affairs. Eventually, it will lead
to separation and divorce. How
many of our friends and family have divorced over the years and are no longer
in church? Social media has
destroyed homes and relationships and made us an “all about me” society.
These
verses in Corinthians are ignored in our busy society today. But remember and understand that
marriage was designed by the Lord for a man and a woman to become One Flesh. The home, the husband and wife, were
the first institution created in the Bible in the beginning.
When you
get married, you no longer have control over your own bodies. As a pastor and a counselor, I hear
about a lot of “defrauding going on” in the marriage bed. Sex becomes a once a week thing
or even worse. I’ve never heard anyone
come in my office and ask, “What can I
do to save MY marriage?” Usually it’s things like “they do this
and that.” Never is there a focus
on the “I” or “ME” factor.
Many men
would like to have sex once a day.
I know that is hard to understand for ladies, but it’s true none-the-less. Men are actually wired to be sexually
driven. Sure, that’s hard for a
woman who works, who is pregnant, nursing or raising kids. But ladies, pleasing your man
could take only a few minutes or so and keep him from being so moody around the
house. Unfulfilled desires are the
biggest factor of becoming the “two ships passing in the night” situation.
The Three Reasons
One of
the first things that I share with a couple, whether they are about to get
married or coming in for counseling is the “Three Reasons People Get
Divorced”. They may seem
simple, but it is the simple things that spouses always ignore, that cost
them. These are in no given order
of priority, but the first one is a big one where men are concerned.
The
first one is sex. Whether it is
the lack of it, intimacy issues, physical problems etc, sex is a big deal. The second reason is money. Financial problems create stresses that
lead to many different problems emotionally and physically. The third reason is children. Children are a blessing from the
Lord! But better said, “the
pressure of children” can create problems in your marriage relationship.
The
verses that we started with plainly deal with the sexual relationship in our
marriages. If it is important for
the Holy Ghost to inspire the writer, then each of us need to take it
seriously. Let’s deal with sexual
relationships in our marriages for the rest of this article.
One of the things I share with couples is found in Proverbs 5:15-19, “Drink water from
your own cistern, And running water from your own well. Should your fountains
be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your
own, And not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice
with the wife of your youth. As a
loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And
always be enraptured with her love.”
Ladies you
are the cistern, or the covered pot to be correct. No one has the right to touch that pot
but the husband and only your husband can remove its cover. The fountain (which should be
clearly understandable), your man’s “fountain” doesn’t belong to him when
married, but to you the woman. If
a man “disperses his fountain abroad” with someone other than his wife,
he risks having “rivers in the streets”, or, easier said, children
coming up to him from other partners saying, “Hey Daddy!” This is because he is not satisfying
his thirst or being denied his drink from his covered pot, his well,
his wife. Or in the case of a woman,
she’s not being satisfied by her fountain, her husband. How’s that for being straight forward? Oh the Word of God is amazing when you
really look at it. It’s got the
answers. It’s life and medicine to
ALL your flesh!
You see,
if you are “defrauding one another”, as the verses in Corinthians talk
about, you are opening up the door in your marriage for resentment, emotional
issues and more! Once you are
married you give up the right of control over your body. A lot of women and men defraud their
spouse of their bodies. They do it
out of their own pride and selfishness.
As
ladies and men too, we need to not think of sex as a chore. If you do, shame on
you. We need to let it be that we
are making the most important person in our life happy. When you have a crying baby, they quit
whining and crying when you feed them.
Isn’t that right?
According
to these verses in Corinthians, the Lord knew how important a satisfying sexual
relationship should be. When you
deprive one another, it will harm and separate you emotionally. If your man is not getting it from you
he may go elsewhere. Men have a physical need for sex that most women just don't understand and
comprehend, but God did and He gave this scriptural instruction to us. It
is vital that we believe it and obey it!
We really can take this scripture at face value and obey it. Yes
it is that simple! But if you will think about it and obey it, then you could
be reaping the rewards of doing things God's way.
So many
spouses are Obsessive Compulsive about the wrong things at the wrong
times. I heard one lady minister share to a group of ladies that when you loose
your keys, you’ll dump your purse out, empty your pockets and more, till you
find them. Ladies have you lost
your keys? Your spouse is the most
precious, best friend that you have in your life. You should treat them as such. You should love them and prize them.
The Bible
tells us, “For this cause shall a man
leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife.” (Matthew19:5,
Mark 10:7, Ephesians 5:31) The
word, cleave, means to “stick
like glue or to forever chase after.”
Think about that for a moment.
When you first met you did things for each other. You got a little crazy too, bedroom
crazy. You did things to “light the
fire and keep it lit.” The chase
is important to your relationship.
Ladies, it’s really important to your man.
Most men
like doing things for their wives.
When you start to complain about what he does and deny him the
opportunity, you will train him just like a whooped puppy and he will
stop. Men are really wired to
chase. Men are hunters and they
love the hunt and the catching of the prize. When you stop them from chasing you, they will become
unfulfilled and they will draw back.
They will become emotionally damaged and it can even affect their “stamina.” No drug can fix that but YOU. You’ll be frustrated and not realize how
it started.
When
your husband is in the mood and he makes advances toward you, don’t deny him,
don’t push him off or make him wait too long. He will eventually take it as you rejecting him. Men have a sex drive that is powerful and it can be broken. God made him that way. Making it a matter of schedule or
making him ask for a “time frame” will train him to stop. It makes him feel emotionally rejected
by you. You must make time and take the time for each other. Men are emotional, but they are different
in how they are wired. Sure, there
is balance in having the right time and moment for our intimacies. But you should never cut him or her
off. The more you push your spouse
away, they will become “gun shy” of you.
They will become afraid to touch and shy to advance. With your husband, you’ll be breaking
him, right out of how God made him.
When we do that, we are going against how the Lord designed us and going
against His Word.
You
wouldn’t send your kids to bed hungry would you? So many spouses send their
most precious, best and intimate friend to bed hungry. Most women will complain about their
moody, angry, short tempered and irritable husbands. Usually, it will come down to one thing, because of the whole
due benevolence and chase factor.
One or the other has denied their needs. Wake up husbands and wives before you lose your keys and you
cannot find them anymore. The Holy
Ghost wrote these things a long time ago to keep your marriage from getting
into trouble.
If you want to affair proof your marriage, don’t push
away or deny your spouse the fulfillment of their needs. Let’s not become disobedient to the Word
of God in these areas because we allow our own selfishness, pride and
insecurities to dictate our bedroom practices.
Ladies
you need to understand or at least try to, that men are turned on by sight. He needs to be drunk on you! Don’t you want him to be consumed with
thoughts of you? Are you doing things to make him drunk on you? Song of Solomon talks about being drunk
on love. He needs to be drunk on
your love. Taken by you! He should be dreaming about coming home
to you, like a wino sniffing the cork who cannot wait for the next drink!
Let’s
talk sniffing. Your husband likes to
sniff perfume and see you! It’s a
drug to him and draws him like a moth to the flame! Ladies you know how to catch your man and make him not
forget about you. At the same
time, men, you need to understand that women are turned on by touch. They need your affection, slowly and
gently. They need your
conversation and sweet touch.
Men, you need to smell good and be
clean. Not all sweaty and
nasty. Fellows, you need to take
your time and love your wife slow.
Never be a “wham bam thank you” kind of jerk. Each of you,
husbands and wives need to treasure one another. According to 1 Peter
3:7, you are “heirs together of
the grace of life.” It
encourages us to know that and walk it so that, “…our prayers be not hindered.” Never forget the power of your precious intimate friend that
the Lord brought to your life.
What a great prize the Lord has blessed you with.
Let me
close with this story. My father
is a private pilot. Years ago on a
Saturday or Sunday afternoon he would take me to this grass strip airport. All the “old pilots” would be sitting
on this porch area and they would tell flying stories. As a young kid, oh about 11 or 12, some
of these were absolutely hilarious.
One day my Dad was up flying with someone and I was waiting for him to
land and we were going to go get some ice cream or something. One of the older men there was telling
a story and it was so funny. He
got to the end of his story and after everyone had gotten over their laughter,
he piped up loudly and said, “Boys, this has been fun today! But it’s time for me to go home and play
with mama. You all would be wise
to do that too!” This guy was in his 80’s.
What a
statement. It rings true
today. Don’t lose your keys. Don’t send your dearest and most
intimate friend to bed hungry. Render “Due Benevolence” to each other. You’ll find that a lot your problems
will be cured.
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